No Thank you Mr Grylls

My Anti-Bucket List: 10 Things I Never want to do before I die

I have heard lately people talking about making bucket lists. I have compiled a list of thing I never hope to do in my lifetime. Please read and let me know what’s on your Anti-bucket list.

  1. Get bitten by a Zombie. It doesn’t sound like much fun at all. The whole lumbering around thing is not my style.
    Darn Tasty
                                      Darn Tasty

     

  2. Stapling Boloney to my face and dipping my head in a Piranha tank. Why would I do that a second time?
    I'll pass on the Bologna thanks.
    I’ll pass on the Bologna thanks.

     

  3. Chased by a chicken. Undignified at best.
    How embarrassing
                                  How embarrassing

     

  4. Given forty lashes with spaghetti (or any wet noodle). In my opinion food should be used for sustenance not punishment.
    I loves me some spaghetti
                          I loves me some spaghetti

     

5. Ask Bear Grylls for a drink. Need I say more?

         No Thank you Mr. Grylls

 

 

6. Go in the woods and get shot by a bear. What are the odds? Did he purchase it legally?

                       Arm Bears

 

7. Go to bed like normal, wake up as a disembodied brain with eyes. Really I can’t walk into a theater or anywhere for that matter anymore? Really? OR “All of me, why not take all of me…”

Seriously..where is the rest of me?
Seriously..where is the rest of me?

 

 

8. I wouldn’t want to end up like the guy in the Scotsman song. Be careful where you go to sleep at.

Please do not push play if Bawdy Irish drinking songs offend you. 

bawd·y
ˈbôdē/
adjective
1. dealing with sexual matters in a comical way; humorously indecent.
Synonyms: ribald, indecent, risqué, Rabelaisan, racy, rude, spicy, sexy, Earthy, indecent, suggestive, improper, naughty…fun 

don’t say I didn’t warn ya…..

 

Scotsman
Does this dress make me look fat?

 

 

9. Ingest a tapeworm. “Hey wait why am I so skinny?”

I sure have been hungry lately
I sure have been hungry lately

10. Shut my tongue up in a lunch box (stitches required), get stuck in a halfway closed folding chair (no stitches but a hurt pride), Run into a door knob (stitches required), Fall down a flight of stairs while carrying dresser drawers impact the bottom of the stair flight only to have the drawers hit me at the bottom (think Wiley Coyote) or break my hip at a homeschool Valentines roller skating party (more stitches and pins required….Grand finale of Wiley Coyote).

The Piranha is looking pretty good right about now.

The Piranha is looking pretty good right about now.

 

I have done all the ones in number 10. I would never want to do them again. Been there done those. Tell me what’s on your Anti-Bucket List. 

As always thanks for stopping by.